fork is in

I'm reading Frank J. Tipler's book "The Physics of Christianity" and it is just the most wildly speculative reading EVER. Every couple of pages that I read I have to set it down. It's highly controversial. It's outspoken. It's brash. But, I love it. I love radical theories that differ from the mainstream. He's tickling my brain, even if it proves to be purely fiction in the end. (who really knows though)

I'm going to skip divided

I'm not going to complete that previous story. I'm a month late and too much else has lapsed for me to recount. I do have to return again in July to New York, the tickets have been purchased and everything. It's a lazy Sunday afternoon and in typical lazy Sunday afternoons, I'm in front of my computer writing. I could write about this weekend. I could write about getting sloshed at a gay bar. I could write about seeing Sex and the City, the ultimate chick flick. I could write about seeing my honey for like 2 minutes. I could write about watching yet another chick flick - 2 Days in Paris. I could write about my workout. And waitaminute here, I just did. So there. But it all seems so lackadaisical. Not that I don't love my sweety, not that I don't enjoy going out sometimes, nor enjoy watching chick flicks (at times). But seriously, doesn't it almost seem pointless sometimes?

I'm definitely glad I got to see some of the greatest friends of mine this weekend. People that I haven't seen since ... the Radiohead concert was it? I believe so. But I feel distant. Almost like I can't relate right now. I feel like I can't relate to anyone really. That feeling of being at peace has almost slipped away. Sometimes I can't decipher my own feelings. Is it a void? What is it? So I shall go to New York again, have surgery, and come back. I start school in August. I'm definitely excited about the prospect of attending classes again. But even that doesn't seem to fill or qualify. I can't explain the feeling I have, so I've been immersing myself again in reading. I have goals of reading more public health materials and classics this summer. It's what you do when you feel as if this world is not your home. I know I sound all ridiculously esoteric and all. It's just that I don't have the words to express the feelings. The divide feels deeper and darker.